What is darkness?
Is it the absence of light, or rather
The feeling of closing your eyes and
Drops of pearls streaking down your cheeks?
Darkness has always been a part of me.
Either the shadow walking with me in the night or
The monster inside of me.
As I drown in a sea of others’
Expectations and assumptions,
I choke on the disappointment
I have for myself.
Submerging deeper and deeper
Into the coldness of my own
As the anxiety of my own oppression
Increases on the inside,
I desperately manage to hide it with
The numbness on my face.
Searching for any antidote to cure
The complete horror
I know I have turned into.
Everytime I want my monster to disappear,
In order to experience a drop of what
True emotion feels like,
It always comes back to haunt me.
My tears cannot obliterate what has happened to me.
Instead they hold the weight that carries me forward
From my past, until the scorching pain is a distant memory.