My given name has carved a path for me.
Like a calming-
Or a roaring sea.
The comfort and self destruction both in me-
Both creating me.
I was named after my mother-
The one that looked after me.
Who was named after her father.
Their named meant lake.
They were calm and joyful people.
But that was the second part of my name-
The first was the sea.
A place of terror and no forgiveness-
Waiting to rip me apart from the inside.
Then the lake, holding me together-
Reminding me, I'll be okay.
My name is not just any name.
It is a contradiction.
I am a walking contradiction.
Yet, it is my name.
And my purpose to know what it means.