My Poor Little Angel

I messed up three years ago,
When I gave my mother control,
I should have fought for you my little dear,
Not given into fear,
Today you whisper to me,
"Mommy daddy beats me up,"
And into my throat I felt my heart jump,
But I stayed strong,
As we whispered on,
"Does daddy smack you when you're being bad?"
"No" you said making my heart sad,
"Does daddy do it as a way to play?"
Again came the "no" from you that ruined my day,
"Is daddy mad when he hits you?"
A tearful "yes" from you almost made me come unglued,
Then you said "I hate daddy!"
And my soul felt that you were unhappy,
What can I do?
When the judge said I can't call people to protect you?
My heart hopes to God it isn't true,
That you are not facing what I went thru,
Then you told me even more,
And I felt pain in my chest as my heart tore,
"Daddy lets me get beat up by the other boy too,"
A boy you claimed was older than you,
Now I'm sitting here,
With my heart full of fear,
For my poor little angel boy,
My heart wanting to destroy,
The people hurting my little boy,
So I called your lawyer,
Hoping he would become the destroyer,
That I cannot be,
Because the Judge took that power from me,
And I whispered to you,
"You will be with mommy soon,"
And you gave me a hug I hope isn't our last,
As I remembered my own painful past,
And when the visit was over,
I felt a hundred times older,
Because right now there's nothing I can do,
And I want so bad to save you,
My poor little angel mommy is praying for you,
Hoping you can make it thru,
Until you're safe in my arms again,
And I promise your pain will end.

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This Poems Story

I had a visit with my three year old son. And he told me he is being beaten by his dad and his dads girlfriends older boy. My mom had dragged me to court again. She tried to pull my rights. When that failed she changed gears trying to end my visits. Thank god she isn't able to do so yet. I filed for primary custody instead of joint. But I am powerless to help him right now. All because a judge says so. And it hurts bad that I can't do a darn thing but wait for the courts decision. I just pray that I win. The picture is of me and my son.