My Reality

My honesty is that I'm loosing myself to this... To you...
to the realization that being numb is my happiness.
my desire to fulfill my purpose
will forever be muted by the loudness this addiction has over me.
By purpose I mean my dreams.
My dream which will never present itself while this fog consumes me.
Ironically my dream only presents itself while...
This poison runs through me.

My perception is all I can control. You see I'm numb.
My life is based off of this fabrication that I call reality.
Constantly altering my personality for the enjoyment of others.
The me I once was is now muted by my desire to hid..
To hide my addiction.
It's a full time job pretending that everything is ok.
Pretending that I'm not dying on the inside
desperately trying to escape the grip of this addiction.
Hope is a luxury that I am not afforded.
So for now I will be what ever you need me to be.

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