My Toxic Trait

My toxic trait?
I shut down and I push people away.
Even when it's at a time when I need someone the most. And as much as I don't want to, for some reason, I do it anyway. I isolate myself and suffer in silence because I feel that's what I have to do and I don't deserve help.

Maybe I just want to be alone.
Personal space.
I'm so used to being on my own.
Left behind, comforted by the silence
left in my embrace.
So, I just built a wall
To protect said silence.
All I wanted was to be successful,
On my own terms.
So I can proudly say that I did it all alone.
I may or may not need some assistance
But ill never ask for it.
My mind is very persistent
"I think I can, I think I can".
Even if I trust
But
My heart is very resistant,
Against all odds
Even if I must
Just believe.
Please, don't force too much through my comfort zone,
cuz the wrong attention will surely burst my bubble.