Nelson’s Floss


Admiral Lord Nelson
Before he sailed to war
Got a letter delivered
From his paramour.
From London it arrived at
Lady Hamilton’s behest,
That letter came by carriage
With the Admiral’s chest.

Nelson read his letter
He held it with the left,
The right arm it was missing
At Tenerife bereft.
One sentence implored
Our admiral of the line
“Please do not forget, dear,
To pack your dental twine.”

The lesson for the taking,
Should you be at a loss
Is that even early on
The best new they should floss.
’Tho the admiral’s dilemma
Might cause you alarm,
Because it’s neigh impossible
With only but one arm.

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As a dentist I am frequently admonishing my recalcitrant patients to floss better. In my research I discovered this wonderful note from Lady Hamilton councilling Nelson to floss. This would be difficult when missing an arm. However, I imagine that a midshipman or Hardy could be recruited to help!