New Year’s Eve

I don’t splutter, but I stumble;
Tripping up while on my feet.
Slow blinks, long sentences,
And feet on glass tables
“Afflicted and afflicted and afflicted…”
I hear myself say.

My repetitions are inconclusive; incorrigible,
And a sad, stale purgatory
Weeps between my commas
Which hang and tremble in stagnant air
like suspended drizzle.

“Falliable and falliable and falliable…”
Mind, body and vision. Is that what I mean?
Leaning on his chest like I meant it.
I never mean it!

“Cyclical”, he told me.
As if there was some other way I could expatiate!
As if I could avoid going round and round.
As if he could.

I know.
I should have shut my mouth
When I lifted my head,
And gone inside, and done another button;
Teetering and sliding in there, in that way,
would be better than this. And yet,

Why stand when you can sit?
Sooty-eyed and smirking
Amid the din and trouble
Of youth and wonderment.

And actually, in the end
it all turns out just to be
Carlights on familiar gravel,
And a tenner split between friends;
The cry of “Serendipitous!” as we enter,
Singing on accident.

And until we aren’t nervous, we drink.
And we split the midnight kiss too.
Toppling, almost;
yet standing together as we do.
Happy in a circle.

Happy, too, to continue in circles;
At least for the time being.
Young, unrighteous, waiting.
Together: until, then when, then after.

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This Poems Story

About all the uncertain things I said by accident and thought after a party that I went to with my school friends in my home town in the year I moved away. It was strange and wonderful to be back; to celebrate a new year with such uncertainty about what that year would hold, but to feel such affection for all that was familiar.