No Control


For so long, I've been afraid, of what I could not control.
Not afraid of death, but fear to never have lived.
Twenty years old, and I miss my youth, present as I could ever be.
I didn't have a perfect childhood, but at least nothing haunted me.
Now, the slightest swelling of my skin causes a deep fright,
occasional headaches make me wonder
if I'll wake after sleep that night.
I'm tired.
Of not being worry free.
Of letting my thoughts control me.
Of letting negativity consume me.
I know that some day I'll find peace,
deep within my soul.
And some day,
I'll learn to love the things that are out of my control.

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