Not a victim


NOT A VICTIM?
I THOUGHT MY PASS WAS BEHIND ME BUT WHEN I SEE THE PEOPLE THAT USE TO HURT ME ALL THE BAD FEELING COME BACK, I TELL MYSELF I AM NOT A VICTIM BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT BECAUSE THE FEELINGS AND THE THOUGHTS OF HOW I USE TO LIVE REPLAYS IN MY HEAD OVER AND OVER BUT I TELL MYSELF I AM NOT A VICTIM I AM A SURVIVOR OR IS THAT WHAT I NEED TO BELIEVE,THEY USE TO TELL ME MY MOM NEVER LOVED ME OR THAT I WAS UGLY AND NO ONE WAS EVER GONNA WANT ME, BUT AS I WRITE THIS DOWN I WONDER HOW SOMEONE CAN LOVE ME WHEN I COME FROM A BROKEN PASS BUT I TELL MYSELF I AM NOT A VICTIM BUT DO I REALLY BELIEVE IT.I WAS IN FEAR MY WHOLE CHILDHOOD and even now till this day WONDERING WAS I GONNA DIE OR HOW TO KILL MYSELF IN ORDER TO MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY BUT I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT RIGHT. AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I WANTED TO GIVE UP BUT I TELL MYSELF I AM NOT A VICTIM i tell myself to be strong and to not give up and that nothing last forever because I am not a victim I am a Survivor.

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