Not Enough


Isn't it comical,
That I still try so hard to be good enough.
Why can't I get anything that I want?
I understand that the world is full of lies and unfulfilled promises.
However, is it so hard to ask to succeed in something?
Why can't they see that I tried so hard?
I bled, Sweated, struggled and did all that I could do.
Yet all that hard work simply wasn't good enough.
It's heartbreaking,
When they open their mouths only to say that I wasn't good enough.
I smile, saying thank you.
Everything seems fine until I'm alone in that dark room.
I cry; silent tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
I tried to smile on the inside, and that was a failure.
Why can't I smile on the inside,
the same way I smile on the outside?
Why can't they see that I'm struggling to stand on my two feet?
Why can't they see that I'm broken?
I've heard,
that the strongest people fight battles behind closed doors.
Why can't they see that I'm fighting a battle I'll never win?
Couldn't they see that my eyes were filled with nightmares?
Or is it my fault? Did I not try enough?
Did I do something wrong? Did I go towards the wrong path?
As I think, I suppose it really was my fault.
But is it selfish of me to wish,
"That I was good enough?"

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