Not the only one

By ashera3   

As I watch the water drip off the leaves outside my window i feel the tears glide down my red freckled cheeks. The gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that im not the only one. 
I find myself staring into space losing my place in this life. Not able to focus, not able to see clearly and not able to realize exactly what is going on behind my back.
The feeling of disappointment and shame is always within my heart and soul. Loyalty and honesty is free of charge, but its made out to be priced at a fortune that i see you can't afford. 
As i rise to my feet my legs feel weak. Shaking more with each step i take. I find myself sitting on the crusty old white stairs connected to the porch. 
I look up to the sky, birds flying west, wind blowing through the trees and the sun shining as bright as the newly weds diamond ring. 
Love can cause you to deal with many things. My assumptions had gone on for months, it's all starting to piece together. My puzzle is almost complete. 
I am NOT the only one.
Not the only one you call baby.
The only one you give your attention to.
The only one you smile at.
And NOT the only one you love!
My heart breaks thinking of what  exactly i did to deserve this, you treating me as if i were the enemy and wondering how im not good enough for you. You're the only one for me and always have been, just you.
Tingling flies throughout my body as I think of my life without you. I love you, always have always will.
But I need to leave now...
As I walk into the setting of my new life with tears pouring down my face. I life my left hand to wipe them away slowly, I can feel my eyes grow bloodshot. I'd love to stay, but I cant.
Knowing that im not the only one. 

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This Poems Story

I wrote this poem while I was actually at work just sitting at this kitchen table. I've been going through a lot of depression involving my boyfriend. We had just had a baby so we've been very stressed out. It causes me to be upset. I had a second and looked out the window, it was raining and I seen a leaf dripping water. I compared myself to the leaf and got motivation to write this poem.