Bystanders don't understand what you're doing
Sensitive to judgement, hiding your compulsions, you try to keep it out of viewing
Every little thing can be a trigger; yelling, walking, talking...
Sometimes you can't hold it in, then anticipate the gawking
Slumped and exhausted from hiding it all, you go to your room, finally sit
In some instances you feel as if you never wanna leave, it's your safe pit
Very misunderstood, OCD isn't just about being perfect as you suspect
Even when you explain it, they then look at it as a defect

Compassion from someone is nice
Once in awhile, I don't even have to explain myself twice
Many things scare me, like scaring people away
Promises like "I love you" make me believe that they will stay
Until the day when all of it was fake
Lets all of your personal secrets be then at stake
So sometimes I want to hold back from the hard lessons learned
Initially, until you meet the right people that have been earned
Vigilance comes with it until you accept yourself for who you are
Eventually not letting your disorder hold you down like tar

Daily thoughts of thinking I was crazy
In my mind I didn't know what was happening, I felt hazy
Sometime passed and I found out what I had...
Realizing there was an explanation for what I am going through
Dreaming of helping others who are confused, that's what I want to pursue
Every part of you is beautiful and true
Really, that is nothing different, nothing new.

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    This Poems Story

    This is an acrostic poem I wrote about having the mental illness of OCD. Growing up not knowing what I had was really scary to me. Thinking I\'m different or weird, until I understood that many people throughout the world go through this too. My goal is to have this poem reach people who are going through the same or similar things, that can help them not feel alone like I did once.