Ode to love


Love.
The most overused word in the English language.
The meaning of love is undefinable
One thing is for certain the more and more people use it,
It loses its meaning even more,
Everyday.
Over 1 million songs about love,
Heartbreak,
Forgiveness,
Betrayal,
Sadness,
If love is so painful why should I believe in it?
The question I ask myself more and more every day.
Everyone tells me I deserve so much,
“You deserve someone to love”
“You deserve to be happy”
“You deserve the world”
“You deserve”
You.
Deserve.
The two words of the English language that couldn’t make me angrier.
If I deserve so much why can’t I have it?
Why can’t I be the one to get the guy?
Why can’t I be the one to get a happy ending?
Why is it I only attract the broken ones?
Is it because I’m broken and damaged
Maybe.
I have my reasons to not believe in love anymore.
But
When you yourself are so broken from the drugs,
The numbness is the only way to relieve yourself.
Every dead rose is another heartbreak.
You can’t expect me to believe in love when,
The only love I ever had abused me,
Treated me as if I was just a piece a paper in a backpack.
Why should I believe it’s real when the one person I saw myself marrying,
Broke me and burned me to the ground.
I want to love someone again,
I want to feel loved,
But
That’s hard when
The thing holding you back from love
Is the same thing holding you back from knowing my name?

You still don’t know my name.

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