I don’t like being scared
That every time I hear a book drop
It’s not just a book
I don’t like hearing the absence of your laughter
And wondering if I’ll ever hear it again
I don’t like knocking on your door
And panicking when you don’t answer the first time
I don’t like waking you up in the morning
My stomach sinking when I don’t get a response
I don’t like analyzing the powder on the kitchen floor
Wondering if its sugar
I don’t like it when you’re not here
Worrying you won’t come back
I don’t like our long conversations
Because I don’t know if it’s the drugs talking
Or if its really you

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