Pain


I try not to hold on to my past
But looking back, things don't last
I blame myself for everything thats happened to me
He tried because I was dressed lightly
She left because I didn't know he pinned her down
He died traumatically because I wasn't around
He cut his wrists because I didn't show I cared
They cry and hurt because they've always been there
I can barely look at myself in the mirror
I hate both the outside and interior
My heart is too broken and bruised
I know why they chose me to use
I'm messed up, and I hate to admit it
But for many years I've dealt with this
I've been alone for so long
I don't know why everything goes wrong
I started to have bad thoughts again and I'm scared
I can't go back to when I cut everywhere
I can't tell anyone about the pain that I feel
Because it'll push them away
and they'll question if it's real
If I could let go and be free
I would be fine and finally be at peace
I couldn't do it and leave my loved ones behind
They might blame themselves for not knowing
I wasn't fine
I can't do it, but I want to so bad sometimes
I cry a lot when I lay in bed
I think about the things they have said
It's true, isn't it?
I'm a psycho and a wit
I'm weak, and I'm worthless
I should kill myself because I am hopeless
I see the scars on my wrist and my parents tired eyes
They can't help my cries
They've done so much for me
I can't let them see
That here I am again, their little girl hurting

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This Poems Story

I was diagnosed with depression at a young age, and I wrote poems as a way to cope. Writing was my healthy outlet. I was at one of my lowest points in life when I wrote this poem, but I want people to know that they are not alone.