Paranoia


They say it's impossible to see yourself through
Anything but a reflection or a camera shot.
Nor is it possible to see yourself through
The eyes of another person -
It's like you are the dark matter that shows
Everything surrounding it
But not the matter itself.
And so the mystery that is You pulls you in -
Deeper and deeper until you lose yourself
In what you believe others see you as.
Your mind far off, wandering anywhere
But to the comforts of its home
Paranoid of the thoughts they could have -
No
The thoughts they should have
About you.
You listen to their shadows and attempt
To sculpt what you must be, surely -
Surely this is me
The whispers behind my back
The ghosts of what I think their eyes are saying
It's all me.
And I can't take it.

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