you can’t trust what they say
they say you’re pretty, you’re cute, you’re beautiful
they ask, “are you a model?” “how old are you?” “why don’t you look like your age?”
same answers every single time. “No.” “A minor.” “Go fuck yourself.”
I cut out my brain and wring it out over and over trying to forget
i know I’m wrong
i know my face isn’t right for my age and I know that my body doesn’t fit it
you can only trust your own reflection
screaming at you that everything about you is wrong, wrong, wrong
everything about me from the inside out makes me want to step into fire
burn all the wrongness away until it’s just my soul
finally free from the prison of my body
no longer bound to a body that brings me nothing but pain and anguish
noises buzz in my ears
reflecting off of my mind back into the air
it’s too loud I need to leave
everything blurs as my eyes tear up
the tears burn as they drip down my cheeks
i stagger to the bathroom and wrap my fists in cloth
i slam my fist into the mirrors, shattering the glass into a million little pieces
they seem to hover in the air before finally smashing back to earth
it’s not enough it’s never enough
i want to watch every single part of me light up and burn away
someday I’ll finally be free

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