Please find me

I sit here, I sit here on my deck looking and listening to the breeze in the trees, birds chirping, and the silence that I wish I could find inside myself. I don't make a sound I just sit here. The noise inside me drowns out the silence I should be hearing. Am I not asking the right questions to find the answers I wish to know. How does every decision feel like I've made the wrong one. Now faced with new decisions how to choose the one that won't add more noise in my head. When the steps forward feel like I've only gone backwards. I sit here, I sit here wanting to find some silence. Even tho peace is felt around me. I feel that I am chaos among it, trying to be apart of the peace. Sadly it is not peace and in a way it is chaos that I want. It is a different type of peace and chaos that I wish for. So I will keep sitting here, I sit here in hope that it will find me and I will find it.

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