Please Release Me Charmin

Toilet Tissue!!
What is this routine that you do?
Sticking to people shoe
When they come just to wash their hands
and do number one or number two
but you wanna make them look like a fool!
Toilet Tissue that aint cool
a Quality roll would have stayed on its' spool
or cleaned up waste or some kind of drool
Toilet tissue, how many people have you done this to today?
And are you really happy
with this pulp fiction you display?
Toilet tissue, you are a wad of T.P.
with failed dreams of being a Book
A one ply leaker
A common crook
And lastly Toilet Tissue
It's obvious to all
That you like embarrassing
Well meaning two ply people
I'll bet you became
un-raveled this way
When someone labeled you

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