Poem in My Bones

I remember two weeks ago on a Friday
my mother brother and I
we're almost in a deadly car crash.
A green truck pulled out in front of us
and stopped in the middle of the road.
My mom was driving a little over the speed limit
probably 50 60 mph
And I'm no rocket scientist but I knew
if we
we would die.
All of us.
I watched and wanted us to crash.
Not my mother and brother but me.
I watched being selfish
I watched being selfish
I wanted this
Not because of all my feelings or lack of feelings.
No I wanted this
because Im not living life I'm surviving on a tight rope
confused whether to jump
or to watch people scream at me
live live live live live.
I cry and cry and cry because all I want to do is jump
but the words the beautiful words live live live.
They circle you like a hawk screaming at you to just l
Live live life not survive just live.

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