To keep pretending that everything is okay
I would find myself angry
Sensitive and cold
I lose all feeling of happiness -
the nonexistent emotion of my current moments in time.
If it comes back I will have not pretended that I was fine
But I will have admitted to myself
and those who have caused me hurt,
that I am....
That I am hurting and broken...
But not broken open to the point where I am outspoken
I speak words of advice and smile.
But the smile that is false brings true smiles to others.
The true smiles others that give me sense of wellbeing.
Wellbeing and a kind heart is what I have to make
others feel the happiness I am lacking...
And for that I no longer have to pretend
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