Provoked Unintentional

You love to hurt me with your words
Well you win darling
You could've stabbed me with your sword,
But that would have not felt as painful
I don't blame you
I seem to provoke my own misery
I pushed you to wonder
I dropped you to stumble,
I left you behind running
But darling you're going in circles.!
I'm not there, nor am I here
My heart has lost direction
I can't help your perception of me,
No more than I can help myself
I don't mean to be so unsusceptible
You see it all feels unreal to me
That you could truly want to love a girl like me...
I self-destruct,
I rebel
It's madness,
I know I infuriate you
I can't seem to fix this spell.
It's hell!
I don't mean to be so phlegmatic,
Nor am I being dramatic
I feared you learning of the real me!
I feared your disappointment when you found my pulverized heart...
I feared your truth.