Reality?

Been feeling like my livelihood and sanity, are anywhere but with me
My lucid state of being gone AWOL, feeling like I’m in a free fall
Psychosis creepin’ in my bones like it owns me
Paranoid delusions recurred, my words are slurred
How stupid of me to think my meds could set me free
Covered up my cameras, never know who could be watchin’
Stuttering, rebuffering, my words don’t come out right
My brain is full of glue, I don’t know what to do
My tongue is twisted, the heavy fog has persisted
Clouding up my brain, I’m well on my way, becoming insane
Can I reverse the curse? Before I’m in the back of a hearse
I’m so afraid, I swallow my fear, and it feels like a grenade
Going down my throat, searching for an antidote
My thought explodes, I can’t control these episodes
Anxiety lights the matches, my head catches, fire
The situation is dire, I’m starting to tire
Of all the shit that I create, crazy theories that I hate
I feel like i’m a conspiracy theorist, oh, rationality dearest
Oh, how I miss you so, I don’t want to let go
I’m fighting myself, and I’m not sure who’s winning, we’re both sinning
I must repent, communication is heaven sent,
Stop fighting and try something new, will “I” statements do?
I feel unnerved, when you act out unreserved
If you keep yourself in check, in return I won’t call you a pain in the neck
Do we have a deal? I know that you’re not real
I just want you to leave me alone, you’re only a defective clone
Of my real mind, I would prefer you were kind
I didn’t ask you to return, you only come to make my stomach churn
These delusions make me sick, risperidone isn’t doing the trick
My mind is always running, intrusive thoughts are stunning
Pictures of loved ones dead, stuck on replay in my head
Seeing death of lives which haven’t come to an end
Will it ever stop? Can I come out on top
Free fallin’
I’m free fallin’