Recurrent


It's morning again the birds begin to sing
I come to on the couch in yesterday's clothing
Nature calls, I Stumble over boots kicked off to the floor
I walk to the door

A repetitious prayer to God, I can't do this no more,
Promises to the self are broken once again
A tedious journey of wanton self destruction
When will end, when will end?

Back to couch realizing there is no more
Time creeps slower than ever before
Have to get to the store
everything is a bore
It will all be ok after just one more

Today is the day, I'll make everything right
ready for the fight!
Hands shake, dry heaving with blood shot eyes
Here come the lies.

Anxiety kicks in as I anticipate
Can't wait to self medicate
Another day to contemplate
When will I change my state?

Two or more times a day
There is no choice at this point
It's the only way.

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