I always have this feeling
Right in the pit of my chest,
It’s like an inner irritation
My mind and body just cannot rest.
I try to think of nothing
Or just positive and happy things,
But right at the front of my tortured mind
The unhelpful thought just clings.
I wish I could escape my head
For the day or even just an hour,
The intensity gets way too much
It’s like I have no power.
I can’t control my thoughts sometimes
At times they scare me to death,
I either feel disgusted or ashamed of myself
And so worried that I can’t catch my breath.
A burning sensation that starts in my throat
Rises all the way up to my forehead,
And with it brings shame, embarrassment and fear
I hate nothing more than my face going bright red.
That would be the thing I wish most that would stop
It’s the one thing I really can’t hide,
At least with everything else going on
I can keep it all hidden inside.