Its the sun setting perfectly across the ocean with the most beautiful display of colors that instantly takes your breath away. Its the long drive outta the state youve never left looking in awe at the mountains, trees wrapped in shades of oranges youve never seen before. Its preparing a whole month for this moment and when you jump out of that plane door and the adrenline hits your heart. Its the first snow fall of the year and its on Christmas. Its the look your child gives you after being laid in your arms for the first time. Its the music basting in your headphones with the euphoric remnants of your past. Its walking in to your mom's house after being away for too long. Its that one perfect smell that reminds you of home on your hardest day. Its the words of encouragement you got the day you wrote your suicide note. It's the warmth of the love of your life snuggling up next to you in the middle of the night. Its the heat of the fire place on the coldest day of the year. Its your first kiss, your first homerun, your first ballet recital, your first, first place in the science fair. All of these little moments that captivate our beings, those are the moments that bring out the best in us. They turn us into the people we are today.
But Its the brick walls and barred windows that remind you how much of a fuck up you've been. Its the empty heart you feel stuck miles away from the only family you have left. Its the adrenaline you get when you push that plunger full of dope into your vein. Its spending your first white christmas alone. Its the look the Dr. gives you when they tell you they couldn't save the baby you just delivered. Its the music that keeps popping up on your playlist that breaks your heart every time you hear it. Its the emptyness of walking into your moms house after her funeral. Its that smell that brings you to tears because home isnt home anymore. Its the pain you feel leaving your suicide note on your pillow as you tie the rope around your neck. Its the emptiness you feel laying in a bed you bought together. Its the chill, deep within your bones as you lay homeless upon the concrete floor.
Its your first heart break, your first losing game, your first mistake made in front of a large crowd, your first not turning in your school project on time.
I tell people all the time that life is about the little things and the moments we cherish the most as individuals. Even in those times where we feel like failures, like we've messed it all up; we have to remember that these moments are temporary. Thats the difference in Memories and Nightmares I guess. Memories are what we hold close to us to help remind us we are human and Nightmares are here to remind us where we came from.