regret


I look at the horizon as I drown in thought.
Remembering a pain and suffering that I shall not forget.

There was once a time when such pain and suffering didn’t exist.
A time when I would be stabbed but not bleed.
A time when I would suffocate but not drown.
A time when a wound only meant another scar.
Those were the days before I met you.

You had always been there I just never noticed.
I would just do what I thought was right.
It seemed to be genuine.
But you assured the contrary.

Of course, sooner than later our paths had to cross.
But I wish that time had never come.

At first, I was curious who you were.
Then I started to get scared.
I was afraid of who you really were,
so I ignored you as if we had never met.

Ignoring you didn’t solve anything,
I had already met you and what's seen cannot be unseen.
That’s when it all began.

That’s when I started to question
those closest to me,
the rightness in my actions,
and the truth behind my own beliefs.

And little by little I was ripped away from who I was.
I could only feel the pain as I was abandoned by those precious to me.
And suffer in the loneliness that you left me.

At the time, I detested you.
I loathe the slightest thought of you.
Until I discovered your true intentions.

You wanted me to see.
You wanted me to see that I was human.
You wanted me to see that I can feel.
You wanted me to see that I can bleed, or drown.
You wanted me to see that wound didn’t mean just another scar.
You wanted me to see ‘who I really was’.

You showed me who I really was.
I could just imagine how I looked in your eyes.
How much you endured all this time.
You probably thought I was about to break down.
So I thank you.

I thank you for being by my side.
I thank you for opening my eyes.
And I thank you for letting me grow.

I THANK YOU, regret.

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