Relapse


I woke up with wings but I've forgotten how to fly.
In my life full of darkness, I experienced light
But now I have returned to the night
And that is where I reside
Part of me wishes I never witnessed it.
The beauty of light and health,
The glow that it emits, the wealth.
Part of me wishes I had never wanted it.
To relapse is seeing a present with no way to open.
A locked door with no key.
It is opening a window to find a brick wall.
In this world, I feel so small,
But I am trying.
I don't think I can handle this anymore,
But I will continue to try.
I will continue to pretend that what I need is within reach.
Pretend that I have somehow got to a breach
In my insanity.
I'm trying, but every time I improve,
I relapse back to my old habits
Of pretending happiness and that everything is okay
Faking a smile as I go throughout the day
I want to go back to that familiar place
Of darkness, and nothing else.

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