It kills me to live with this intense pain,
Day in and day out, I suffer sweetly,
In the grasp of my loving guardian.
It is you that I am reaching out to,
With bruised kneecaps from my endless begging,
Because nothing numbs that pain like you do.

Not the smoke of this sweet and soothing grass,
Nor the rush of these tiny blue capsules
Can cure this eternal sickness that eats at me.
Even when I hold my fingers in my throat,
I cannot release this sickness from within me.

It lingers in my gut and curls around my bones,
Making me ache till I have to give in;
For, it is this evil creature inside of me
Making me strong and feeling so fearless.

And I no longer shiver when this cold,
Metal barrel is perched between my lips;
For, the thought of pulling back the trigger
Does nothing but comfort me, as well as
The creature that lingers in my scarred heart.

And when the dazzling rubies in my mind,
Are tossed carelessly onto the warped walls
Of this place that I used to call my home,
The demon that dwells in my ghastly soul
Will be released to rule this frozen world.

While I rejoice in the light of the son,
My most loyal and beautiful savior;
For, I am positive that you have been
The only one who has ever truly loved me.

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This poem shows the desperate actions and thoughts created from feeling neglected and unimportant