Since I was young, I dreamed of light
I still can't have my wish tonight
Why must this sky make me so blue?
I can't find my way to breakthrough
In my dreams, monsters appear
Whispering into my ear,
"You don't matter, you aren't enough."
Drowning in fear, I try to act tough
People can see right through me
It's not too hard, just look and see
You see that I'm wearing a disguise
Everybody I know always dies
In the end, it's just my monster
When I try to see a doctor,
They always tell me I'm insane
But they don't know what's in my brain
I try, I try, I try again,
But it does no good in the end
All alone, I am defenseless
I cry out, my pain being endless
Finally, I give up and surrender
I tell my monster, "I don't want to remember."
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A kid once told me on the bus on my way home from school that my boyfriend was amazing and nice and good at art... then he told me that my boyfriend deserved more than me and I wasn't good enough. It broke my heart inside, because... I knew/know it's true. His friend, surprisingly, didn't tag along and make fun of me. He scribbled down a note that said something along the lines of, "You are good enough and Brock is lucky to have you. Don't listen to him. You're probably the best girl I know." This kid has bullied me since fourth grade, and he's gotten me into a lot of bad situations. I was young and dumb, and I couldn't find my way back to the light. I seem really cool and chill on the outside, but inside, I'm a helpless loser who doesn't know her place. The kid who bullied me still torments me to this day. Bullying isn't fair. It's not right. "I've never been the bully." There are people who want to say that. But they know they really can't. They'd be lying. A lot of kids get bullied. And I know how they feel. Please, don't be the bully.