REMEMBER TO TRY


Day of infamy,
I remember that cry,
You gave up,
I'll always remember to try,
I'll try for you,
I cry for you,
I hated you!!!
..that's a lie...
But I tried,
I tried...
I tried to forget,
I ran from life,
I tried to forget,
Stupid shit,
I tried to forget,
I drank,
I forgot,
I remembered,
I drank,
Forgot,
Remembered,
Drank again,
Forgot remembered,
Forgot to drink,
Remembered and got...
Pain.
Flooded all into my brain,
I forgot how much I hated that I miss you,
That I couldn't forget,
Something's wrong I'm not sane,
I harbor no resentment,
I'm broken,
Cause you left me...
Who do I turn to?
Who answers my questions?
Why do I remember?
When I want so badly to go?
To forget...
What you did...
How dare you!
How dare me,
Blame myself,
When it's you who wanted to leave?
You're gone...
Left me high and dry,
Running from sobriety,
Days disappear,
I've forgotten,
But I remember,
Look in the mirror,
And....
I became you,
Seeking refuge in sorrow,
Never seeking tomorrow,
It was me trying to go,
But now...
I leave you,
Become me,
Accepted who I want to be,
Proud,
Exceptional,
After all I've been through,
Harbored,
Done,
Thought,
Considered,
Attempts at disbanding myself,
For you...
I remember to try!!

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This is probably, no...is the most emotional poem I've ever written. It's the poem I'm most proud of and yet hide the most. I do not talk very much or express my feelings about what I went through after my dad committed suicide. This will be a big step forward for me. Please, if you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide please call the National Suicide prevention number at 1-800-273-8255. Thank you for your time.