roller coasters

her face is etched into my brain
even if i close my eyes she is there
it’s like that time where i was spinning
and i hoped closing my eyes would rescue me from myself
but really i went faster
on the rollercoaster of stupid decisions and overzealous intake
that's how i feel now
she won’t leave my mind
she’s beautiful
i want to rip my hair out
i try to pull
in hopes that the image will be erased
i can’t pray hard enough
i don’t feel relief
because i know no one is praying for me
in return

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