Santa Problems

It was late Christmas Eve I had gone to bed
Visions of sugar plums up in my head
Santa was sitting at the foot of my bed
I looked at him and then he said,
I've got a team of reindeer and they all need fed
I've got a woman at home that thinks I only like red
I've got tiny little men that follow me around
I'm the laughin' stock when I go to town
There is one thing that really needs switchin'
Milk and cookies are good but there's a turkey in the kitchen
I pull up to a truck and this is what I hear:
Who's that man in the sled being pulled by deer?
There's no window on the sleigh so that means no wipers
It just goes in my eyes 'cause deer don't wear diapers
But there's no problem keeping my beard white
Because I'm flyin' through the air and it's snowin' at night
When he finally had to leave he gave my back a little slap
He flew off into the night dodging reindeer crap

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