Self destruction

I know I cry for many reasons you may find dumb, sad movies,failed grades,abandoned dreams or the playlist which once was my happy aim and now reminds me of the awful memories which lie in my past .But lately I've been crying about myself,the person I used to be,the girl I lost.All those nights I spent talking,laughing being happy.These days passed by faster than light not to be seen ever now,thinKing about did it make any sense ? Or did it ever? Anxiety and me we dance,or spin in circles some might say, I struggle to breathe flipping thoughts I don't want to look what's become of me. I may snap out or lash but i'm weak because I backtrack right into the arms of darkness and falseness. Anxiety and me entwined,combined. I am tired not for a lack of rest but something deeper something inherently present in the fibres of my skin in tendons and my eyes. I have a disease with symptoms no one can see. You see I'm good at hiding it pretending I'm strong. It stops me from sleeping because my bed is my prison now. But you see in the end even stars choose destruction over life.

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