She Wonders

Sitting and thinking about her past,
A woman wonders "did she do something wrong"?
Every since she was a little girl,
Her life has seemed so messed up.
Her father going to jail,
Her mother leaving,
Was she ever wanted?
Or was she just in the way?
She doesn't know what to think.
Getting married, than only sixteen,
Her husband dying, suicide you see,
Blaming herself instead of him,
not knowing what she could have done
to prevent this thing.
Sitting at the hospital with her daughter,
As the respirator helped her breath,
Than rocking her baby for the last time,
as she watches her take her last breath.
Now she will pay for the crimes of her son,
Soon she will leave and to jail she will go,
When it's time for her to come home,
She'll no longer have a place to go,
For her son has become so cold,
Not the man she raised, she thinks that man is gone.
A woman sits and wonders,
"What did she do so wrong"?
She wonders why her life has always been such a struggle,
She wonders why she even holds on.
Why was she even born?
When her life has been nothing but pain,
Could she have done something different?
Or was it all God's plan.
Was she meant to go through all the tears and pain?
Was it all meant to make her stronger?
Or was it to see just how much she could take?
She wonders.

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This Poems Story

My poems are a way to release some of the pain I feel. I wrote this poem because I do wonder why it seems that all I have ever had in my life is pain. When I start thinking things are getting better, something happens to tear my life apart again. I write what I feel.