Shredding

I sit here shredding the history
of your illness.
Each page takes me back
Revisiting each appointment
New medications, tests, and scans.
In heart wrenching rhythms
Another piece of paper morphs into strips
Shattering the dreams of forever together.
I am not halfway done
the notebook , once meticulously
Annotated, memorializing, the pages of our lives.
Every appointment, referral
More questions than answers.
Day by day
Your life force is depleted.
I am your cheerleader.
Despondency carefully
Interspersed into
the pages of our lives,
Twenty two long, but grateful months
Now part of a rendered history.
Gone.