I’ve had to do, what I’ve had to do to get things done; no matter what I was afraid of, I couldn’t run. I’ve had to be strong… weakness wasn’t an option and I’m too much like my mother to have put my children up for adoption.

And then a man comes alone; wanting to be in control and be strong, wanting to be the head of my life and my home not realizing that I’ve got a head of own.

I’ve had to sacrifice all but soul to survive. The pain and hurt made me hard and wise. I’ve had to go places a good woman should not have gone. I’ve had to see things a good woman wasn’t supposed to see.

And then a man comes along with expectations of how a good woman is supposed to be not realizing what life has done to me.

I’ve had to be someone other than myself… lay there and put my morals, pride and self-respect on the shelf. I’ve had to give to get because nobody does anything for free. Freedom, freedom cost too much and it cost too much to be free to be me. I’ve had to separate my life from my world, reality from fantasy, logic from hope, faith from foolishness.

And a man comes along with a beautiful smile, sweet hollow words, smelling good with a tight game. I struggle to not be more man than he. I struggle with, what he was taught that a man was supposed to be. I struggle to let a man be a man… for he is not more man than I’ve had to be.

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