So far away.....

I sit and watch her.
God, how could I have done what I did?

From here I can see her big green eyes light up as she laughs.
I can see her lips painted their signature red color, Hey eyes framed in sexy cat-eye eyeliner, and smokey eyeshadow. The blush on her cheeks makes her glow. She has that sass in her walk, the sass that naturally draws my eyes to her ass.

She's walking with a guy, a foot taller than her. He's fairly attractive. he's got big blue eyes and black hair. he's the same shade of pale as her. She pushed him and he fell to the ground all dramatic like. He makes her laugh so hard she snorts.
The girl I have my arm around doesn't even feel like a person, more of an object. I get up and go to the bathroom. As I leave I hear her voice.

"Yeah, he's cute. but I'm still.....stuck loving N. I see why he did what he did, but He's my first love......"
He voice softens and trails off. I can't keep it up anymore. I easily spot her, pushing past the people I get to her.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. She's shocked, but I don't care. I cram my lips against her. Her sweet perfume fills my senses, and the taste of her is a drug, I want more. I press for more
I press for more
until....her hands come up to rest on my chest, and she slowly pushes me away, like it hurts her...
"Please don't do this to me...I'm trying to move on........" her breath is on my cheek.
I remain silent.

"You're the one who thought I cheated"
I remain silent
"You're the one who believed a lie"
I remain silent
"You're the one who broke my heart..."
I remain silent.

"But I messed up. I wasn't thinking, I didn't even realize I did anything until after I did it. Please let me fix this..."
She smiles sadly, as she wipes the rogue tear escaping my eye. "Oh baby, don't cry. It's for the better. "
I can't breathe, I can't think.......The dark is swallowing me, and no one can help......




What have I done?