So Much I Lost

So much strain
My life rearranged
Left with the blame
Of that in which
I cannot change
So much lost
Now I pay the cost.
How could it be
It would forever follow me
Something so real
Even now hard to deal
My life it would steal
Haunting me it will
Now I must deal
As my heart it kills
Here with me still
Loving them I always will
So much time it would still
A pain so real
And how it would feel
To find them again I will
With hopes that someday
I can turn to them and say
All I didn't do
Not being there with you
The pain that's with me still
The emptiness I feel
Hoping you will try
And understand the reasons why

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Key Words : pain,my heart, follow me, so real, change, blame, strain

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After losing custody of my boys a hard fact knowing I could never get them back nor could their lives I take part in I fought with all my might even still I could not win so with all of this in my head I took my feelings out on the pen and paper instead never knowing this would be my greatest rhyme of all time