So This Is What It Feels Like

So this is what it feels like
Swallowing in self-pity
My heart threatening to beat out of my chest
Sweaty palms
Constantly shaking
The drums loud in my ears
A steady rhythm can be heard
If you listens close enough
Bah dum bah dum bah dum
My hairs been pulled at the roots
Like weeds pulled out of the ground
My skin doesn't feel like skin
I'm just an empty shell
I've never been so disgusted with myself
With my mind, my heart, and my soul
That is why I take showers every minute I get
I'm rubbing off the memories
Of every touch, every word, every sound
That ever came from you
To erase your existence
And once again
I wallow in self-pity
Wondering to myself
How did I even get here?

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