Soliloquies of an Eccentric


I'm crazy only to make you crazy with me. I'm unnecessarily
emotional because I have no idea how to be mentally melodic,
sober in thought. I love, I annoy, I ignore, I live,
to be loved. I'm alone to dwell in the thought of wondrous
conversation and when together I drowned in self-imposed boredom.
I'm an eccentric as well as the most put together person
you will ever meet. I search in constant for elation that exists
only in what seems a dream not yet conceived.
I dance in life behind a veil of anomalous ideas and
when the curtain is lifted I'm exposed crying in a ball
of self-hatred. I journey to the ends of imagination
and find myself sitting in awe of how much time I
have wasted. Follow my lunacy and you will find just that,
an end to no avail, a tunnel of confusion yet somehow
an answer when you accept the aforementioned folly--
an answer to a question you regret asking yet somehow feel
more enlightened because of. I'm a burst of oxygen in veins
feeding the beat of a heart that is aging rapidly.
Palpitations are welcome because they are the norm
and without I have fear. Change is synonymous to growth
not metamorphose. I see my definition of change within
myself and am blind to the external. My blindness is my vice.
I must grow to see the sight of your eyes open in the light.
Forgive me for my faults for they are all I've grown to
know and accept my growth even though it will be gradual
and at times absent. Your eyes are the cure, deep as your
irises embellished by the most beautiful shades of azure blue
and ashen gray I will dive until I'm oblivious of swimming,
until I discover nirvana.

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