solitude.


gonna hold my breath gonna keep it in
gonna save my thoughts gonna keep them hid
finding solitude in my mind tonight
when the seismic waves start taking flight
don’t know if this is a sigh or a heartbreak
don’t know if tonight’s the night where i die
but i know that you’re gone
and i know that you’ve moved on
and i guess i’ve gotta do the same
i’m just the rejected dejected loser who can’t keep her thoughts in her head
i’m just a sad ball of worry who tries to keep it in instead
my cerebral cortex is burning in agony in apathy and all i can see is the dark but my eyes were never used to the light. is that a sign that i’m doing alright?
aphantasia engulfs my head as my stabilization begins to bend
my mind begins to race as i brace for impact
cause behind my eyes is a revolver ready to shoot me senseless
i keep deflecting happiness as if i don’t deserve it
gonna hold my breath gonna keep it in
gonna save my thoughts gonna keep them hid
finding solitude in my mind tonight
when the seismic waves start taking flight
don’t know if this is a sigh or a heartbreak
don’t know if tonight’s the night where i die
i wish you were here
it would make everything so clear
but for now i’m all i got just my brain and i in this hazy fog
counting down the days til my sentence is up

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