Soul Ties

Disconnected by doubt and uncertainty
Tangled beautifully by our souls
I feel the scars on my heart when I touch my chest
And the pain of my feet from chasing our happy ever after
Living in two different worlds separated by perception
But boldly continuing to choose our love
I hear your love roll from your tongue like Rs in Spanish
Straight into my ear down my spine causing a rush

Memories of love at sixteen haunt me while I drive past your street
I watch you live life unbothered as I drown in heartbreak
I taste our last kiss every time I speak your name
I always fail miserably while trying to forget you
Writing poetry praying to be released from your grasp
We both know at your convenience you can have me again
I'm attached to you in an unnatural and unhealthy way
The more I struggle the more I get tangled in your web

I can't live with or without you so why are our souls still tied?
It has my heart laced tightly in a knot making it hard to move on
Floating above my body my soul searches for your soul every night
It's my escape from the pain I wear daily with my Alex and Ani ring
I never meant to need you but I did love you on purpose
Honestly I would still pick you like my favorite flower any day
Tears fall as I hope for a chance at love that feels mutual
A love that doesn't feel like a lifetime sentence of hurt

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At twenty-four years old I have overcome a lot and I write for the lost souls longing for love, acceptance, a purpose and strength to move forward without breaking daily. I am a survivor of many barriers created by society and generational curses and I want to uplift anyone struggling in life. I am a feminist, poet, maker, mentor, mentee, friend, daughter, sister, scholar, social worker and Bennett Belle. My mother Charmaine and my sister Angel are at the core of my heart. This poem is about a struggle I have yet to overcome, detaching from my first love.