It's strange
the struggle between wanting to know what death feels like and living
you wonder if death would hurt more than
what you're feeling right now inside
how could it?
every thought sears you with devastation
every emotion is accompanied by pain, anger, envy
You feel like you're a broken shadow of who you once were
what has become of my trust, my pride, my ability to forgive
where do I go from here?
Where do I go?
"it takes time" they say
without knowing that for me
each moment grows more agonizing than the last
hate consumes me
and what's left of my sanity slips away
I don't know who I am
am I the voice calling out for help
or am I the one screaming Pathetic,
you deserve this!!
It's strange
it's me

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