Struggle and insight

What should I do or make
someone advice, for heaven's sake
cannot come to a conclusion
to abandon old life, to enjoy seclusion
Thinking for days without a gap
all I need is a good old nap
for peace is what I crave the most
before I'm insane; a complete toast
Not living a life that I decide
trying to fit the repulse, I confide
took the pressure to an extreme
and I only reveal unheard scream
Finally I'm determined to flee
the courage that exhilarate me
well ,suffice with all my sacrifice
It's time to enter my paradise
days later, I realised the effects of solitude
ashamed ;as I lost the sense of gratitude
I need them as they need me cannily
for they happen to be my family
lack of communication caused many issues
I opened my heart and needed many tissues
was afraid to fight and live the truth
when i did, nothing mattered for everything went smooth.

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