Struggle


Aurora, puts on a brave face each day
no one thinks there is anything wrong with her,
but what no one knows is that she is struggling with a secret,
a secret so horrible that she refuses to tell anyone,
a secret that when it bubbles to the surface
makes her cry hysterically
It controls all aspects of her teenage life
people always say do not live in the past
but with a secret like this, how can she not live in the past?
Aurora struggles with many emotional issues due to this secret
the secret no one knows, and hopefully will not know
Aurora wants to speak up about it,
but how can she when she hasn't even accepted it for herself
How can she get over this secret, when it haunts her
haunts her like a nightmare
a horrible, miserable nightmare
when you loose a piece of yourself
this secret happened when she was 6 or 7 years old
she was at her babysitters when the secret happened
she remembers the hanger
like she remembers what happened a few minutes ago
she closes her eyes and she relives this nightmare
she is scared to sleep at night, scared of the nightmares
that will consumer her
she is afraid that what happened will happen again
Aurora has noone close, she is afraid
afraid that if she gets close to someone, what happened
will happen again
Aurora's brother witnessed this nightmare
he tried to stop it once, but he did not succeed
Aurora holds that against him, after all he is her older brother
he is supposed to protect her, be her guardian angel
but he failed...he failed miserably
she knows he regrets not being able to stop them
she knows he is sorry for not trying harder
but no matter what he will not admit it to her.
She is going through this struggle all alone
no one can relate to what happened to her,
at least no one that she knows and talks to
she wants this nightmare gone
but she does not know how to rid herself of this nightmare
no one knows about
this nightmare that constantly plats through her mind
this nightmare that makes her feel bad about herself
this nightmare that scares her to her core
Aurora didn't know what to do
until one horrible day
when she was arguing with her brother
she decided to come out to her moth
and share with her mother this nightmare
this emotional disaster that consumes her life
she could not bring up the courage to say it out loud
so she grabbed a piece of parchment and started to write
"Mom, I am sorry. I did not want to have to tell you this
but when I was younger something happened..."
after her mother read the whole
she asked Aurora what the people did to her
with that hanger
Aurora told her the truth
this is not the end of her journey; her struggle
the real struggle has just begun
the journey of healing
getting over this nightmare
she thought that the hardest thing she had to endure
was speaking up
and getting the help she deserves
she knows this journey would be easier,
easier if she knew people with similar pasts
but she does not know anyone
that has gone through a similar experience
as the one she endured for months.
Months and months of having that night
a babysitter is supposed to be a place
a place a child wants to go to
not a place that a child is afraid of
afraid of what the other children
would do to her
she is tired of dealing with this nightmare
dealing with it on her own
she wants others to talk to
that have gone through similar experiences
but there is no one there
or if there is they will not speak up
they must still be ashamed of what happened.
Aurora is tired of feeling ashamed
tired of dealing with this pain
she has dealt with for eleven years
she does not want to have to deal with it
for one more moment
she wants to know what it feels like
to actually feel love
to actually be called beautiful
this struggle has not come to an end
Aurora is still struggling
struggling with this nightmare today
She is on her way to accepting it
but the road to recovery is long and painful
the true struggle has just begun

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