Stu, the Chopper Ridin’ Squirrel Escapes! …… Part Three


I wrote about this last week.
Still quite baffled, I must admit
Stu, the squirrel, stole my chopper.
All the local media carried it,

PETA sent me a notice.
Must be some kind of mistake.
Stu wasn't given a helmet.
The bike didn't have a front brake.

CNN said in their story,
that I put animals in harms way.
Didn't reveal Stu stole the bike.
They knew it, but ran it anyway

There was a massive manhunt.
APB's sent throughout the county.
The bike was found abandoned,
out of gas, Stu didn't have any money.

Wanted posters in the post office.
People offered to hide him if caught
I really just wanted my bike back.
New alarms in the house I just bought.

I heard he made it across town.
Was caught, the bike in good shape.
Went to get it and then I learned.
Stu escaped, was caught on videotape.

Stu busted out of prison.
Guards, perplexed and stunned.
No idea how this happened.
Claimed they were badly out gunned.

I get it, he stole my bike away.
Never believed, he could steal from me
Garage a safe space, but he still stole,
my jockey shifting Panhead Harley.

The escape photo on the news.
The walls were high, no man could climb.
But a squirrel was not planned for
They wouldn't commit such a crime.

If anyone has a chopper,
and a squirrel is hanging around.
Stu will steal your ride.
Trust nothing, truth I now command.

PETA withdrew their complaint,
after reviewing the theft tape.
CNN is still running the story,
blaming Trump for Stu's escape.

R. S. Morris

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