Studying Fear


Fear is a word I’m very accustomed to
But fear has never felt so lonely.
Anxiety forcing through my lungs as I begin to understand.
Studying like an exam for second period.
I’m not prepared.
My pencil broke, my guide ripped, and time’s running out.
Quickening gasps for air as my breath harmonizes with the clocks.
Hearts beating in tune with rapid tears.

Stop, they say.
As if my whole system would just shut down. Just stop.
One could only wish.

Lonely consorts with having someone to be away from.
Fearing the absence of the one holding you together.
Terror in watching the world crumble as an all too ironic goodbye is spoken.
Fear fits puzzle perfect with lonely.
Fear in being alone, in being forgotten.

So as I stare at the vacant air swarming with questions,
I ask one more.
With drowning eyes and burning lungs, I give one last
Hope.

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