sunlight

By juno   

we rise in these moments between
the early risers and
those who cling to the last slivers
of something like sleep

we shed our past night’s selves
and we shiver in the
sweet frosted sunlight

the sun waits for us
on the far side of a
not quite frozen lake

cold nips at us
it dances at our feet,
bounds ahead a way
and returns with renewed energy
we smile and dance its dance

blood beneath nails in the
sweet early sunlight

we dance the cold’s dance
and our hearts slow and rise
with each other’s breath

people come and go
strangers who always have been
but never will be
they come and go around us
we just watch them go

we dig our fingers
into the earth just warmed by
sweet honey sunlight

the water and sand
beneath our bare feet
we lose ourselves in the
sweet fleeting sunlight

i often forget that i am alive

but when i cry
and you are there
and you hold me
and you tell me
“it will be alright”
i am taken by the heart
with a sudden realization

again
months later
just you and i
and a lost kitten
i knew then too
what it feels like to be alive

sometimes it is your hand in mine
sometimes it is the way you sigh
sometimes it is the spilling of
every
single
hidden
forgotten
silenced
dream
i’ve ever had

we are afraid
i know i know
we are running and screaming and laughing
and blood runs down your arm
i placed my hand on your stomach
i felt your breath struggle in and out
you were alive under my fingertips
and i was too in that
sweet gentle sunlight

later
it is the soaked freezing clothes
and dripping hair
and the thunder in our ears
that scream to me
“you are alive”

i know it
i know it
i know it

i know what it feels like to be alive

and we know it
we know it
i know

we are life and youth and fear
wrapped up in yellow silk
and bundled in
the sweetest pleasures of summer

i know i am alive

i live for the sweetness of those summers
that always show me i am alive
and for the bitter aftertaste
that reminds me i always will be

even as the cold sets in
i know we are alive
i know i am alive
in this sweet fading sunlight

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written april 28 2019