I hope you believe what you're hearin right now, here I'm standin
As a white guy, no gangster, from a Catholic family, but now no longer, dare I tell my parents, they’ll say I’ve fallen, so I’ll never share it.
But I’ve never done drugs or ever wanted the bottle,
Never cut myself or been abused or bothered
Of course I had my obstacles of confidence and self doubt like so many people, I've been fat, yeah that mouse trap, and couldn't step back from the scale as it went up every day and my hair fell away, stress was in lay, at a young age, so I decided to turn the page.
I did what most people, everyone told me not to, always taking the path that is risky, yeah that’s me, I got to, traveling to another state not knowing a single person or where I'm going to work, or decide what to immerse in, sure I was nervous and my friends said I'm crazy and I should move back everyday, as if I need saving, but this is my path to walk and nobody's opinion is going to stop me, discovering a new world here of nature and culture and women who aren't afraid to talk to me, it’s unlike Houston where the culture wants nothing to do with you, the average age here seems to be 20 something, i feel that I have been socially stunted, but now, saying hello has never been so easy, confidence is building, I'm excited where life will take me, it's been a crazy ride but I think that I love it. Getting healthy and faster, so I tell my past you can shove it.
Now I must admit, you know I'm different than most, I don't want to sleep around swipe right and ghost like the rest of my generation, and I feel misplaced in this arena and it sucks, no one wants to put themselves out there and it's so damn annoying, sure I've gotten my heart broken so many times I've stopped even counting but no one’s swimming out too afraid of maybe drowning? To just lose money or try for a one night stand, why are you bragging to me about fucking girls and having freedom, I think you're trapped in this life, it's a situation you're in denial because you're afraid to fight your own demons, it’s vile, that the world sees, too painful so you don't believe in, but who's to say anything cuz the whole world is high with drugs, sex, music and lies of the media, PC, it’ll never please ya, and yet, even though most everyone has put up impenetrable walls I'll never get through, I still put my all in every single moment and the possibility to find you, going all in every time again and again, knowing that it's going to end in pain. But just like the lotto, that I call a fools game, I keep playing everyday hoping that one day it'll be me and her finding love, maybe I'm stupid, seems that love is almost dead, no more arrows from Cupid, only living in older generations or solely in movies or dreams, it’s major... So why do you elude me oh love, you've perfected your craft of sneaking away and pretending you're here but you’re always astray, never in reach but the illusion still has me, thinking one day that maybe I'll have thee, but I'll never stop trying to grab you. Playing hard to get with me love, just stop it, I don't like this game, I’m begging drop it. I'd give everything up, money and fame for a single day to just hold your hand, you calling me your man, looking at me with stars in your eyes, I've dreamt them so many times, but I'm not sleeping anymore, I want to turn my dreams into reality, so I'm doing what I can in all arenas, every avenue to find you. To be the man she wants, and I hope she’s searching too.
But this culture isn't like me and
I'm so sick of it, of the hatred for family and kids and getting pregnant is treated like you have news that you got cancer. Am I displaced in time? Is this why I‘m so alone? Is the fact I’m searching for love perpetuating the walls that I loathe, because I can feel them building inside to protect this heart that cries in confinement. Trapped in this world, alone and so frightened. I don’t want to hurt anymore more, I don’t want to hurt anymore more. Swipe left to the pain, swipe left to the pain, swipe left to the pain, swipe left to the pain...
Yet here I am elevating myself, expressing myself, in this rap to you all, I say rap cuz that’s the only way you’ll listen, and I hope you're listening because maybe I'm the voice that's been missing all along, maybe there are others who think like me in this song, who need a voice like mine to be heard and stand behind. I'm not trying to be a leader but someone needed to stand and say something because this culture fucking sucks and I'm sick of it. People who like each other can't even mention it, scared to text too much or respond too quickly, so sensitive, cuz then you're a freak and or a psycho. All that matters is sex with as many as you can find, though...
Is there anyone out there!? Swipe left, swipe left swipe left! My cries are falling on deaf ears and minds who refuse to see a problem... swipe left swipe left swipe left... I might be the last, swipe left... swipe left... I’m crying, swipe left... swipe left... I’m dying... swipe left, swipe left, swipe left... swipe left... swipe left... swipe left... swipe left....